8, 8, 8, Larry King just filed for his 8th divorce from Shawn Southwick, NO, Larry has been married 8 times to some pretty attractive women. I don’t get it, what’s his charm. Those chicklet teeth, the goofy suspenders, the way he calls out cities like Frankenstein. The best part is that Larry allegedly was having an affair with his wife’s sister. This toad didn’t even have the decency to find some strange v, he stayed right in the family. Larry here’s to the future ex Mrs. King, because wife number 9 could be worse.
I thought I had it bad going from radio to the internet but Conan O’Brien, cable. It was just a year ago, that you were the darling of late night, ready to take over the Tonight Show and guide it for the next twenty years. Now, you have to ask George Lopez if he doesn’t mind pushing his show back an hour on TBS. Who’s your lead-in FrankTV. Carson Daly’s laughing at you. Craig Kilborn called and thinks this is a good career move. I love ya Conan, but damn.
If it hasn’t been bad enough over the years being a Philadelphia sports fan, this one is the doozy. Some drunk punk kid, Matthew Clemmens, forced himself to projectile vomit over an off-duty police officer and his 11 year-old daughter after an altercation at a Phillies game. The only good thing about this story is the picture…which is proof that “Lardass” Hogan (Pie eating contest from Stand By Me) here got a nice beating after his pukefest, and probably has never been laid without having to pay for it. Thanks for adding to the list of why people hate Philadelphia.
A Haiku for Jack Bauer or Kiefer Sutherland about being kicked out of a strip club in the UK.
Jack Bauer enters strip club
Drunk as hell, takes shirt off
Jack asked to leave strip club
This is a segment I like to call Enough.
Ben Roethlisberger, stop it, you’re a two time super bowl champion. You’re the starting quarterback for the pittsburgh steelers, you don’t need to whip your dick out in the middle of a bar in redneck, Georgia…enough.
And don’t use a airbag as a seatbelt…
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