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This weekend was the 84th Annual Academy Awards. Silent film The Artist
took home a lot of awards including Best Actor, Best Director, and Best
Picture. Here is one thing that I will promise you, I will never watch
this movie. The people that support silent films are the same people
that want to live in the woods. I live off the earth, man. I only buy
albums, man. TV was better when it was black and white, man. You’re so
commercial, dude. Why do silent films always have scenes where people
dance and do jazz hands. You know what forget everything I just said.
I’m going to put together my own silent film, called The Finger.
The big scandal coming out the Oscars was Jennifer Lopez
apparent nip-slip. Let me tell you, this is a stretch by the internet
community. Seriously, I’ve seen more boob watching the squiggly lines
on Spice. Although, the nip-slip might’ve been a PR move to distract
America from this dumb move.
All of these stories were minor compared to the funniest moment around the Oscars that included Sacha Baron Cohen dressing up as a dictator in promotion of his newest movie and spilling the suppose “ashes” of Kim Jong-Il on Ryan Seacrest
on the red carpet. I don’t want to take away from this great moment,
but if I had to guess Cohen’s movie features a character with broken
English and will probably contain an uncomfortably long scene featuring
someone’s balls. Sounds Genius.